The Loved Ones

**WARNING : spoilers ahead**

"The Loved Ones" was written and directed by first timer Sean Byrne, and if this film is anything to go by, the guy has a massive future. 

As far as Australian horror movies go, this is right up there with the likes of "Wolf Creek" [which I have always thought is just slightly overrated]. 

The setting, the performances from the cast and the macabre storyline all contribute to this being a very confronting film.

What I liked : 

The performance of Robin McLeavy as Lola :

There has been female "villains" in the past, but the performance of McLeavy as the truly scary Lola is masterful. It's the perfect balance of psycho and "daddies little girl". Even when she is doing unthinkable things to the near helpless Brent, she has a certain charm about her.  

The fact this is an Australian movie through and through :

"Saw" was created by Australians, "Ghost Rider" was shot in Australia, while "Daybreakers" was essentially Australian, except for a few US actors taking major roles. "The Loved Ones" is as Aussie as football, meat pies, Kangaroos and Holden cars. This country should be pleased that "The Loved Ones" along with Greg McLean's "Wolf Creek" is putting Australian horror films on the world map.

John Brumpton :

Congratulations John, you now star in two of my favourite horror movies. After nailing the role of "Poppy" in the 2007 "Storm Warning", Brumpton is incredibly creepy as the father who will do anything, and I mean anything, to please his little girl.

What I didn't like :

The first failed attempt to escape by Brent:

When main man Brent [played by Xavier Samuel] uses some quick thinking and a powerful kick to escape from the house the first time, he does everything perfectly until he actually gets out of the house. Did he leave his brains inside, because every move after that is incredibly dumb. I'm glad he didn't escape, but really, he should have. Climbing a tree instead of just jumping the fence is the jewel in the "dumb ass escape attempt" crown.

Overall :

"The Loved Ones" is a horror movie in the truth sense of the word. Terrible things happen and the "reveal" is something else. The performances are top notch, there is more than enough blood for the gore hounds, and despite it's short running time [somewhere around the 80 min mark], the story is complete. I look forward to the next offering from Sean Byrne.

Saw 3D, The Final Chapter.

WARNING : **spoilers ahead**

 

 

 

As a massive fan of the "Saw" franchise, I was keen to see "Saw 3D" for a few reasons. I was interested in how the series would finally end and was also slightly curious as to how effective the 3D would be. But most of all with a new "Saw" movie, I was eager to see what new traps would be unleashed............there are always the traps.

 

Like all previous instalments, "Saw 3D" had a healthy dose of integrated plot lines, flashbacks and surprise character appearances, but the real stars of the movie are the traps.

 

What I liked :

 

- The "4 spikes in the throat/decibel reader" trap :

A fish hook being pulled from your stomach through your esophagus with a key attached would hurt like all buggery.

But hey, you can't scream cos that makes the trap work faster.........pure genius.

 

 

 

- The "four-way car" trap :

I loved this and could almost call it the highlight of the movie. The only issue was the complete lack of any background story as to why the four peeps were in this predicament. But as we find out later in the flick, it is a vital scene in the movie. Actually the more I think about it, what if Evan had pulled the red lever in time and they were all saved from that trap? How would have Hoffman got into the police morgue? Who cares, what a great trap with a brutal ending.

 

- The first ever public trap :

The trap itself was ok, without being brilliant. But the concept of traps playing out in public is an interesting one. Shame they didn't explain why this one was the only time in 7 movies we had a public audience for a trap.

 

 

 

- The Ending :

Some peeps watch "Saw" films just to see the traps, whereas others like me are still up with the complex plotlines and how everything ties in together. I liked the ending and I loved the reappearance of Dr Gordon. If "they" decide to end the series now as it has been publicised, it all ends in a neat tidy little bunch.

But if "they" decide to restart the franchise down the track, the door has just been slightly left open for a Saw 8 through either Dr Gordon or more likely Hoffman if he can escape. 

 

 

What I didn't like :

 

- Paying extra for 3D :

Memo to any director or producer who decides to make a 3D movie, MAKE A FRICKIN' 3D MOVIE!!!! Don't do what they did with "Saw 3D" and make a movie that runs for just over 90 mins that contains at best 3 or 4 "3D effects".

 

- The "spikes in the eyes & mouth" trap :

The trap itself was fine, but the way it played out was lame. Come on, couldn't you hang on for another 4 seconds if it meant saving that chicks life???

  

- Detective Gibson played by Chad Donella :

Terrible, terrible, so very poorly over-acted. Not sure what was going on here.

 

 

What was just plain stupid :

 

- The "Transformers" oven trap. Is that even possible to construct??

- The amount of blood Bobby lost pulling his own teeth out. Did he hit an artery in there or something? And how the hell did those code numbers get on his teeth? 

 

 

This was not the worst Saw movie ever made, but there was a distinct lack of presence of Tobin Bell. Obviously it is harder to involve him in the story as he died 3 or 4 movies ago, but they even cut back on the flashbacks in "Saw 3D". The traps were a mixed bag, ranging from brilliant [the "4-way car" trap] to pretty lame [blind fold hanging]. It pretty much stuck to your stock standard "Saw" formula, with plenty of blood, traps and twists.

You may enter this blog alive, but.......

Because if this was a horror movie, statistically, I am the only one guaranteed to come out of it alive!